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| I feel like updating here... 'cause I'm sad and bored... and yeah... So
well not all that much has happened in my life... sad and alone as
usual. I may not have internet or even a phone soon as I got screwed
royally recently... Oh, well... That's just the story of my life I
suppose... Life sucks and then you die... It's a good motto to live
by... after all, its' completely true... I'm so sad its like bleh... I
havn't been able to sleep lately either... Not more than 2 hours a
night if I'm lucky... I just toss and turn a lot thinking...
Sam is joining the army... He's joining the special forces... as he
wants to go fight for our country and all... I dunno, he's one of the
best friends I've ever had and even though he's been a bit messed up on
drugs these past couple years... I hope he'll be alright... It's
crushing me that I can't even see him before he goes... After all he
has and always will be one of my very best friends...
Then there's Jeremiah, my other friend... He's been my best friend as
long as I can remember but like... I dunno he doesn't call or anything
anymore... I havn't seen him since august... I know he's busy with work
and his girlfriend... But bleh... Sucks to be without any friends in
the world... and none that you actually know in person... I'm a
pathetic horrible lonely loser who has no one and nothing to look
forward to... My life is nothing more than destined to be total shit...
I wanna die... Die and then no one will even care or notice..
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| Today: -- I don't have anything to post really... Just your average boring day in an average boring life... So... I'll post another song. Basically my mood at the moment.
STRATA LYRICS
"Piece By Piece"
I found these plastic parts and wires
Let's split me open at the seams
And rip out everything inside
Make room for all these new machines
Sew me up, pray that i survive
A brand new me
Piece by piece
Stay here and watch me bleed
It's a brand new me, piece by piece
I'll leave a black tear in the sky
To help remember what you've seen
And I'll set this place on fire
Just break and burn down everything
I'm made of plastic parts and wires now
I wont feel anything
Stay here and watch me bleed
It's a brand new me, piece by piece
My flesh, my bones, my blood
They hold my hate, my love
They hold my hate, my pain...
Just take a breath and walk away
Stay here and watch me bleed
It's a brand new me, piece by piece...
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| Today: Well today I went to psycology class... Which was awesome as usual. I currently have 100% in the class and I even missed a day already. WooHoo!!! We were talking about genetic psychology and how behavior is also influenced by genes. Which I think this makes sense... and is more interesting than the last chapter. I have a test in this class next monday... So I need to study up this weekend. I really love the Red Mountain building at school... there are like plants and stuff everywhere... It reminds me of being by the ocean but not really by the ocean. Anyway... I studied for a bit there after class today and waited for the bus, in which it's always interesting... There are a ton of Japanese exchange students at my school and they all ride the bus and stuff... Anyway it's fun to sit there and listen into their convos in Japanese. Even if I can't make it all out... I'm going to paste a song that I'm listening to... It still brings tears to my eyes when I listen... It's truly sad... but great.
The Ataris: The Hero Dies in This One
As I leave here today, apartment 108
I'll always keep you in my heart.
Anderson is cold tonight,
The leaves are scattered on the ground.
I miss the seasons,
And the comfort of your smile.
Sometimes this all feels like a dream.
I'm waiting for someone to just wake me up,
From this life.
As I look out at these fairgrounds,
I remember how our family split apart.
I don't think I ever told you,
But I know you always did your best.
And the hard times,
They only made us stronger.
As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.
I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more then you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know.
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
But you can let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.
Do you ever feel like crying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I raise my hands up towards the sky,
I say this prayer for you tonight,
Because nothing is impossible.
As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.
I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more then you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know.
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
But you can let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.
(The hardest part isn't finding what we need to be, it's being content with who you are.)
Stay who you are.
You must go on.
Stay who you are. [x4] | | |
| Today: Well today I woke up at 8 to none other than my brother playing his guitar full blast downstairs... I was so mad... Then of course 5 of his little friends came in being loud to. At 8 in the freakin' morning... Anyway after they finally left for school I sat around for a couple hours, took a shower, that sorta thing then went to school at 11.
School: Well I went early, 11am because I got lazy last night and didn't read my psychology book and its just so much more comfortable and easy to concentrate in my favorite spots at school. I went to the library again and sat by the waterfall. I don't know why but I just love the sound of waterfalls and like it was so cool. I read through the chapter, and it took less time than the other one as it was shorter. It was about neuropsycology and basically like biological stuff. It wasnt too interesting I know i don't want to be a neuropsychologist, I want to be a behavioral psychologist like my teacher. Anyway after sitting there relaxing and reading a bit I headed to class.
Class: Well class was cool, I really like my teacher's personality and how she teaches. We mostly took notes again today but she kinda wandered off subject a couple times as she hates neuropsychology as much as I do... Anyway the only annoying thing about the class at all is this old guy who's taking it and constantly asks her questions. He like almost argues with her every 5 minutes on whatever. It's so annoying. Joe, this chinese guy I sit next to, and I were like "Man... Can he go for 5 minutes without butting in and interupting her" anyway... Other than that all is well. I then headed straight from class back home in my new to me car. It's starting to grow on me I like it quite a bit now... Though I need to change the interior colors, stereo, exterior paint color... After that stuff is done... I'll be really happy with the job. Anyway that's all for today. I'll update tomorrow. Bai Byes. | | |
| Today: Whee~ Back to school.. Back to school... to show my dad I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my shoes tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight, oh back to school.... Good old Billy Madison. If you havn't seen that movie, then shame on you people. Anyway I had chem and chem lab today... Whee~ What a joy, eh? I'm so changing my major to psychology. It's the same thing as last time I took chem... I dunno, it's just extremely boring to me, and for most people psychology is too... So... I dunno, I must just be really weird or something. After that I came home and decided I'd play the game I rented for my brother. It's a lord of the rings game, called the third age... And it's like totally awesome. I've been playing it since I got home up until now, which makes it about 4 and a half hours. I'm at the part where you go through the caves of moria and fight the balrog with gandalf. Its just so cool... Other than that I havn't really done much today... I can't wait 'til tomorrow! Psychology! Yay! Anyway I'll update tomorrow.
PS: Thanks for the comment about my xanga, Rach. ^_^ | | |
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